CHAPTER TWO

02||Sleep Where?



-HER POV-



Young Woo.


Young Woo.



The guy that I had just met earlier. The guy that was friends with Joon Suk. I gasped again and turned him so that he was laying on his back completely flat. I placed my ear against his chest.



Thump.



Thump.



Thump.




There was still a heartbeat.

I quickly placed my hand over his mouth. He wasn’t breathing. Trying to remember what to do, I quickly performed the Heimlich maneuver. I placed my lips over his and covered his nose. I breathed into his mouth deeply and then pressed against his chest to try to get the air flowing.


One.



Two.



Even three times.



Still no response. I shook my head, trying to figure out what to do. I tried one last time, and finally, he coughed harshly.
“Are… you okay…?” I asked.








-HIS POV-



I coughed severely and grabbed my neck. I felt a burning sensation running through my body, almost like taking a shot of the darkest whisky on the market. I took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling. Damn. I was so f*cking close. This girl, who looked so empty minded, was still looking at me. What the hell was her problem?

“Hello?” she repeated.

Was she seriously trying to talk to me after what just happened…?

“Hello?” she asked again, waving her hand in my face.

“Yah! I’m not deaf, nor am I blind,” I retorted.

“What the hell were you trying to do…?” she asked in a frightened tone and began scooting away from me.

“What does it look like I’m f*cking doing!”

“I was just trying---.”

“Oh load of bullsh*t. You knew I was trying to commit suicide. How the hell do you go and ‘help’ someone when they’re trying to do that sh*t?” I yelled.

“But---,” she began, but I rudely interrupted her.

“Who the f*ck do you think you are!” I shouted louder.

“I wanted to help…”

“Didn’t I just f*cking say that you’re an idiot for helping someone if they were trying to commit suicide? If you wanted to help, you should’ve just kept on walking.”

“What! I was just trying to help! I’m sorry that I can’t just watch people kill themselves like that!” she yelled out of the blue.

“It’s none of your f*cking business,” I said as I stood up. I bent over to grab the belt, but she snatched it away from me.

I sighed. “Can I please I have it back?” I said, trying to be a little more polite.

“What? No!” she said and stood up. Seriously…

“Are you going to honestly act like that with me? First you don’t know who I am, and you should go mind your own business,” I said.

“Excuse me?” she retorted. Great. I fell into a trap with a nasty lion. She wasn’t even that pretty. She was normal. There was nothing ‘great’ about her except for the fact that she didn’t have black hair. Her hair was light brown and she had bigger eyes than most Koreans. Nothing special about this girl. I sighed.

“Fine. Take my belt,” I said. “Just leave me alone.”

“I will if you won’t try commit suicide again,” she said, still glaring at me with her beady little eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said and slipped my hands into my pocket.

“Don’t you realize other people care about you? What about your friend Joon Suk?” she said.

Great. The guilt trip. She went on about how everyone was going to miss me and how my friends like Joon Suk, who obviously liked her and I didn’t know why. But she kept going on about how they were going to miss me and stuff. What a load of bullsh*t, but I nodded hoping she would stop lecturing. I knew if I tried to fit a word in, she would go off on me. I knew it was best just to “listen” and nod.

“Yes ma’am,” I said sarcastically and began walking away from her.

“Yah! Yah!” she yelled and ran after me. She came up in front of me, stopping me in my footsteps. She looked at me and grabbed my arm.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked, trying to loosen her grip from my arm. She was pretty strong, this feisty one.

“You’re coming home with me.”

“I’m coming where?”

“Home with me.”

“What am I, a dog?”

“No, you idiot.”

“Hey, I live on a campus,” I said, finally freeing myself from her wrath. I stuck my hands back into my pocket.

“Do you have a roommate?” she asked.

“Yeah? Why?”

“Well…” she began.

“You think I’m stupid enough to do it in front of him?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “You’re an idiot for trying in the first place. Just come with me tonight. I’m not going to rape you or anything. Jeeze.”

Rape me? Sh*t, what if she did more, who knows what she was going to do to me.

“Why do you care so much anyway?” I asked.

“Because, I don’t want to see people throwing their lives away like that. You know how many people would love to be in your position right now? Going to college, having friends, and just being a student?” she said.

Wow. Another lecture. Damn, little did she know. I hated when people judged me like that.

“Like you know anything,” I said.

“Well, I know people are trying so hard just to survive. Now would you just come with me already? I won’t bother you after this. Promise,” she said.

“Seriously?”

“Well… as long as you don’t try to commit suicide,” she said.

“Okay. Deal. I’ll sleep at your place, but you better not try to do any damn sh*t to me.”

“Why the hell would I do that? Look at you. I’ve done so much better,” she laughed as I followed her to her car. Her car was pretty crappy.

“Nice ride,” I chuckled as I got inside. The roof of the ceiling was dipping down and there were scratches of paint everywhere.

“Oh shut up,” she said. “It’s not like I see you with any car at all.”

“I have a car,” I smirked.

“Then why don’t you drive us back to my place?”

“Because you’ve offered and we’re already in here,” he laughed.

“You know what. You seemed so much nicer earlier. So friendly…” she mumbled off as she turned her car on.

“Yeah, well you’ve got me on the wrong side. That’s your fault, not mine,” I smirked.

“Ugh…” she sighed pulled out of the parking lot. With her terrible driving skills, we finally arrived in front of an apartment building. She parked crooked.

“Hey, you parked funny,” I laughed.

“Ugh… shut up. I’m tired. Let’s just go inside and sleep,” she said and unbuckled the seatbelt.

“And, you suck at driving, you know,” I laughed as I made my way out of the car. She rolled her eyes at me, or at least I think she did. It was too dark to tell. She dragged me with her into the building and we headed up the elevator upstairs to her apartment. Once we she got there, she opened the door and turned around to look at me.

“SHHH,” she whispered loudly.

“Yeah… yeah…” I said. We both took off our shoes and she grabbed my hand and led me into, what I was guessing, was her room. She closed the door behind us and switched the light on. Her room wasn’t too messy. Her bed was in the middle and she had a dresser and desk on each side of the room. There were a few clothes on the floor and some spilling into her basket. While I was still examining her room, she had already spread a blanket on the floor with a pillow and one more blanket on top.

“There,” she said.

“Oh, thanks,” I said, snapping out of my daze. I slowly began taking my shirt off, with my undershirt still on.

“What the hell are you doing?” she whispered loudly.

“Jeeze, I sleep with my shirt off. I can’t sleep with a shirt on… I get too hot,” I said and took off my undershirt.

“Aish…” she said.

“What? You’ve never seen a half naked man before?” I smirked.

“Of course I have, you idiot,” she said and threw a pillow at me.

“Oh, but not the whole thing… I bet you’re still a virgin,” he said.

“What does it matter to you?”

“Isn’t it weird that I’m sleeping in here?”

“No,” she said bluntly. “You’re not the only guy that has slept in this room, but you are the first guy to sleep on the floor,” she smiled.

“Oh, why can’t I sleep on the bed then? We’ll switch,” I said.

“No.”

“What if we both sleep on the bed?” he asked.

“Not happening. Maybe in your dreams,” she laughed and headed into the bathroom to change. I looked over, noticing she was still in there and jumped into the bed, underneath the covers. As soon as she came out, I saw her shadow walk towards me and fling the covers off me.

“Yah!” I whispered loudly.

“Aish, get out of my bed,” she said and pushed me down back onto the floor. “Sleep there,” she said and turned off the lights.

I sighed and had no choice but to sleep on the floor that night.

CHAPTER ONE

01||Suicide Attempt





-HER POV-

Of course, a simple question of love is underway. What is love exactly? Something indescribable. Right. Okay, don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I have never ‘experienced’ love or anything. I just don’t see everything great in it in it. I actually find it amusing when people “like” or take interest in me. I’ve never really ‘liked’ anyone except for his pleasures as well as mine.


Truthfully, no, I’ve never actually been in love…






… I lied. Let’s not get into that.



But, it’s not like I don’t like to date or anything. Yes there have been a few one night flings. Oh, yeah, judge me. I’m one of ‘those’ kind of girls. I’m really not. Dates can lead to other things. I just don’t feel like I really need to be in a relationship to begin with. Dating is all fun and games, literally. I have fun, have a few laughs along the way, but no commitment is always the plus.



“Why don’t you find a real boyfriend?” my dear friend and roommate, Eun Chae, said.

I looked at her puzzled.

“Yeah,” my other roommate and friend, So Ryung, added.

I looked at both of them, who were both casually sitting on the couch watching TV while I was sitting down at the kitchen counter, eating my cereal. I opened my mouth to speak, but So Ryung interrupted me.

“You’re so uptight and picky, you know that?” she said.

“What?”

“Yes, you’re picky. Get yourself a boyfriend to keep yourself a bit stable.”

“Why?”

“It’s really annoying seeing several different guys in a month who come over.”

“It’s my business, why should you bother.”

“So Ryung has a point,” Eun Chae said as she switched the channel.

“But why?”

“Because, you need to stop messing around with guys and start looking for a husband.”

“Okay, Eun Chae, don’t scare the poor girl,” So Ryung laughed and looked back at me. “We just mean that it would be best for you to find a guy to keep you stable.”

“Why…? I’m fine now.”

“Because, you messing around with guys is just leading you towards a life of loneliness.”

“Okay, start off with thinking of guys that you can date,” she said, as she tried to conjure up people in her head. I sighed and looked back at my bowl of cereal. At the corner of my eye, I saw her eyes light up. She turned back to me and smiled.

“Who?” I asked.

“What about that guy you have classes with? What’s his name?”

“I don’t know… who…?”

“He’s friends with that other guy… and that other girl…”

“Yes, So Ryung, I definitely know who you’re talking about,” I said, heaving a sigh. I took a spoonful of cereal and So Ryung spoke again.

“Joon Suk. Right? That’s his name? You introduced him once, I think,” she said.

“Why?”

“He’s nice, smart, interested in the same things as you.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Eun Chae said butting in.

“I don’t like him, that’s what’s wrong,” I complained.

“I think he likes you. Why don’t you give him a chance?” So Ryung smiled.

“What? Why do you think that?”

“The way he looks at you. He likes you.”

“Whatever, I’ll prove to you that he doesn’t. Just watch,” I said and dumped the dishes in the dishwasher and headed into my room for the night.



***************


The next day, I headed to my classes at Seoul University. I would’ve lived on campus, but I found my roommates, who ended up being my two best friends, through another friend. They offered to have me move in with them when they found out I was attending the college that they were going to. On every other day, we went to class together, but on Thursdays, I had an earlier class than both of them, so I always drove by myself.

I headed into class where I saw Ha Joon Suk already sitting in the normal spot in the lecture hall, just a few rows from the front. I went around and sat next to him.

“Hey,” he said as I settled down in my seat.

“Hey,” I replied. Sadly, he was the only one in almost all my classes I really talked to. Unlike high school, I had very few friends in college. The environment of college doesn’t completely allow one to have plenty of friends because everyone is just so different.

I rummaged through my bag and pulled out my assignment out that was due for that day as well as my laptop. Before, I could speak another word to Joon Suk about how he did the assignment, the professor just walked through the front door of the lecture hall.

“Hello class,” he said. “Please go ahead and pass your assignments forward.”

A rush of papers seemed to end up in my hands out of nowhere and I passed them forward to the next row.

“Let’s begin with our lecture,” he said and stood up in front of the class with his, surprisingly non-droning tone and taught his lesson for the day. I sighed knowing that I was going to get the yawn of my life.

After a long time of him rambling on about what not to do when a virus was on the computer, most students stood up and left, while others went up to the front to ask him specific questions. What suck ups. I pulled my laptop screen down and gently put it back into my bag and stood up.

“Hey Jae Hee,” Joon Suk said as he was putting his final things away in his backpack.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Oh, I was just wondering if you could help me out with our web development class later?” he asked as he stood up next to me.

“Um, sure,” I agreed.

“Don’t you have a class right now?”

“Yeah, but I thought I might as well walk you to yours.”

“Oh, thanks but I’m sure I can walk there by myself,” I laughed.

“Ha, ha, you’re funny Jae Hee. I meant that I would walk with you so we can figure out what time we can meet up to do the assignment before our class tonight,” he chuckled.

“Oh, right.”

“I know you always catch lunch with your friends, but maybe we could meet up an hour before our evening class?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “It sounds good.” We began walking out of the lecture hall and walked along side each other as I headed towards the science buildings.

“We can meet up in Center Building,” he said.

“And grab something to eat while we’re doing it? Sounds good,” I smiled.

“Yeah, sure,” he laughed. “Okay, I’m go this way, but I’ll meet you later tonight,” he waved and headed off in the opposite direction.

I chuckled to myself. He likes me, how amusing.

Ha…ha…

Damn it. So Ryung was right.

I sighed.


After my biology class, I headed to the Center Building which was the center for the most socializing. It was a four story building with a food court, a library, and computer lab. Most of the building just had places to sit and study or just to lounge around. I headed up to the third floor, where most people ate and lounged around. I walked up the stairs and from a distance I saw my two friends, already sitting down and eating without me.

“Hey,” I said as I placed my books down. I sat down across from them and took out my laptop.

“Always on your laptop, Jae Hee,” So Ryung said, shaking her head.

“So?” I retorted.

“This is why you will never find yourself a good boyfriend.”

“I don’t want to be in a relationship, and that is my choice.”

“Oh naïve, naïve, Jae Hee. It’s not the relationship, it’s what you can get out of a relationship.”

“What?”

“A guy that will actually care for you all the time, instead of for that night, and that night alone.”

“Ehh,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. I looked passed my laptop and saw Joon Suk and a group of friends walking towards my direction. He stopped in front of me. I looked up at him since he was at least two feet taller than me when I was sitting down.

“Hey, Jae Hee, sorry to interrupt your lunch session, but do you think we could meet earlier? I’ve got to go to the library to print out the assignment before class,” he said.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I nodded.

“Oh, I’m sorry, these are my friends, Sung Sik, Young Woo, and Eun Young,” he said, pointing to two very good looking guys, and a cute dressed girl.

“Hey,” I said.

“Ahem…” So Ryung rudely said.

“Oh, these are my roommates and friends, So Ryung, and Eun Chae,” I said, introducing them both.

“Hello,” the girl, Eun Young, smiled.

“Nice to meet you guys,” Eun Chae said.

“Yes, pleasure to meet you all,” one of the guys, Young Woo, said.

“Well, we’ll leave you all alone. See you later, Jae Hee!” Joon Suk said, waving, as they walked away. I turned back to my computer, but So Ryung slammed it closed.

“Yah! What was that for?” I asked.

“He likes you,” she smirked.

“What? How do you know?”

“The way he smiled and talked to you.”

“No way,” I denied. I had to win this one. They were always right about a guy liking me, but it always ended up as a one night stand, or a few dates for that month, but no longer than that.

“Why are you denying it too?” she asked.

“Because…”

“Want to bet?” she asked.

“Ergh… no…”

“You know I’m right.”

“Yes, you’re right. You’re always right,” I said and folded my arms across my chest.

“Then, why don’t you go out with him. He’s good looking. If I was you, I definitely would.”

“Then you date him,” I said.

“Naïve.”

“Okay, honestly, I would, but he’s a nice guy and I can’t have it lead to another one night stand, or a friend with benefits,” I sighed.

“So you like him?” Eun Chae asked as she pushed her glasses to her face.

“No, I just don’t want to hurt his feelings and just disappointing him when he realizes that I don’t want a relationship like that.”

“Ah, we’ll wait and see,” So Ryung smirked.

“Fine… fine… I‘ll try this whole relationship thing... I’ve got to get to class,” I sighed and packed up my stuff and headed downstairs and out of the building to my math class.

After class, I headed back into the Center Building, CB for short. As soon as I hit the top step, I saw Joon Suk intensely reading his book. I laughed to myself as I walked by next to him and plopped my books down on the table, creating a loud bang noise. He looked up, startled and realized it was me.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Sorry for the noise. These books are heavy,” I complained as I began massaging my arms.

“Come here,” he said and pulled up a chair next to him for me to it in. I sat down and he took my arm and began rubbing and massaging it.

“Wow, that feels really good. Where did you learn to massage like this?” I asked.

“My grandfather,” he replied. “He works as a masseur at a local therapy office. He gave me tips on how to massage certain muscles, especially when I was playing sports.”

“Oh, wow. That’s cool,” I said. He continued massaging and it felt amazing. After a few minutes I gently pushed his hand away. “Thanks. We should get you started on this assignment,” I said.

He pulled out a sheet of paper and presented it to me.

“You’ve already done it?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah, while I was waiting for you. I figured that it wasn’t as difficult as I thought it was,” he chuckled.

“No, it’s not. I told you it wasn’t,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

“Hey, I was wondering if…” he began.

“What?”

“I mean, wanna go out on Friday night?”

“What?” I repeated, trying to grasp what he was trying to tell me.

“Go out on a date to watch a movie? There’s a new movie coming out. I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”

“Oh…” I hesitated. He looked down with a disappointed look on his face. I contemplated. He was good looking, smart, nice… just not my type…

“I---,” I began and suddenly So Ryung’s face popped into my head. I nodded to myself, obeying her advice and looked over at Joon Suk who at this point, had a confused look on his face. “Oh… Um, sure. I’ll go on a date with you,” I hesitated to say.

“Are you sure?” he asked again, looking at me, a bit concerned.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I was just trying to think if I was busy on Friday.”

“Sounds good. Um, should I pick you up or do you want to meet there?” he asked.

“Oh… um…” I began. I didn’t want him to know where I lived. What if he was a stalker…?

“I should pick you up. I offered you on this date---,” he began, but I quickly cut him off.

“Oh, no. It’s okay,” I nodded, “I’ll just meet you there. I have some errands to run, so I won’t be home for you to pick me up. We can meet up in the Cinema near North Seoul Mall?” I asked.

“Sounds good,” he nodded.

I looked at my cell phone and it was about time to go to class. “We better head out,” I suggested.

“Mhm,” he nodded, also looking at his wristwatch. We both stood up and walked to our class together.

After class, I left ahead of him, hoping that he wouldn’t follow me to my car. I hated stalkers. Some guys that I dated were stalkers and since then, I was always careful with what I did.

I took a wrong turn on campus, and ended up near the science building. It was getting chilly and it was pretty late. It was nearly 12 o’clock after I finally finished studying. I decided to walk through the building since it was the fastest way to get to the parking lot. I swung the door open and it was like a desert. There was no one around. It was almost… eerie. I felt a chill up my spine and quickly walked through the building and saw the other door to the exit. I began walking faster and, stupidly enough, tripped over my own shoes. I was such a klutz. I picked my stuff up and looked up in the classroom in front of me. There was a belt hanging with a circular end, just enough to fit a person’s head. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest at the thought of someone trying to commit suicide.

As soon as I stood up, I stood back to take a peek inside, hoping no one could see me, but then again, hoping no one was in there.

I jumped back as I saw a shadow climb on top of a chair and take the belt closer to its neck. Without even thinking I ran to the doorknob which of course was locked. I quickly rammed my bag into the window, shattering the glass to pieces and reached inside to reach for the doorknob to jiggle the door open. The dark figure of a man was already hanging on the belt, but I quickly jumped on the chair and untied the belt from the ceiling.





The man dropped onto the ground.



“Oh my gosh…” I whispered to myself and jumped down next to him. I quickly unwrapped the belt from his neck. There was a red burn mark from the belt around his neck. His head was facing the other direction. I gently turned his head towards me.



I gasped.



A familiar face.




Young Woo.

Love is.

Love is.

Written by: Evangelista

|| Introduction ||

Love.
What is it?
A feeling.
What is it like?
Everything
Where can one find it?
Anywhere.
It is indescribable.
Love is.
Pain.
Suffering.
Deceit.
Lies.
Reality.
Jealousy.
Happiness.
...All in one word.

Because that's what love is.